How do I wind-up after a therapy session?

Author – Mansha Goel, Counselling Psychologist   

Editor – Sadhana Singh, Counselling psychologist

Updated – 10th April 2023 


Have you had those days when you felt extremely exhausted or emotionally drained after your therapy session than the rest of the days where you felt lighter? There might have been times when you did not feel anything significant post your session too. It’s not just you! Experiencing a range of emotions post therapy session is NOT an unusual phenomena; it is indeed very normal and very real. 

Before we move forward, we would like to remind you how proud you should be of yourself for seeking therapy because it takes a lot of courage to take this step to help yourself get better and you have done that! And, that's an achievement. 


Why do I feel these post-session blues? 

You may be more or less prone to post-therapy tiredness depending on what you discuss in a given session rather than necessarily on your personality type- “Not all topics may have the same emotional impact”- Adam L. Fried. 

  • Emotional hangover: Have you heard of something called an ‘Emotional hangover’. It is similar to an alcohol hangover, only in concept though. An emotional hangover makes you feel physically and emotionally drained after leaving an emotionally overwhelming or taxing environment or event. Sometimes this hangover is immediate, while other times it might set in a few hours later (Gillis & Sookdeo, 2023). Cortisol rises through your body when you start to feel overburdened (Smyth et al., 1998), leaving you overwhelmed with anxiety and emotions. You might experience symptoms like irritability, sadness, crying, headache, muscle tension, fatigue, light-headedness, feeling burnt out or drained. 
  • Revisiting the past traumas: When we are in therapy, there are times when we talk about things that are particularly difficult for us and have a high emotional impact on us. For instance, in certain therapies like psychodynamic therapy, you and your therapist will explore past trauma and relive some difficult times. Experiencing that trauma again or talking about those difficult times can be very daunting and stressful, and can take a toll on you both physically and mentally. Traumatic stress is associated with increased cortisol, and norepinephrine responses to subsequent stressors (everyday challenges) (Bremner, 2006) which can cause high blood pressure, rapid or irregular heartbeat, excessive sweating, cold or pale skin, severe headaches, nervousness or jitters. Note: Cortisol is a hormone while Norepinephrine is both a neurotransmitter and a hormone. They both play an important role in your body’s “fight-or-flight” response. 
  • Insight: Another reason we feel post therapy weariness could be when we gain an insight about a particular event, about another person, or about our own self. As you start to understand what you're going through, how you've handled stress and trauma, and why you'll need to address some serious, internal issues, it can make you more stressed out and anxious. And gaining that insight can be very unsettling and overwhelming because we might have looked or thought about something differently, while the insight we gained is in complete incongruence of what we had thought. It can be shocking, or hard to accept or even disappointing to know the truth initially. 
  • Other precipitating factors: There could also be other precipitating factors that could cause your energy levels to fluctuate. It could be situational factors like long working hours before or after a therapy session; it could also depend on what is going on in your life currently and that is another added stressor, which can aggravate these unpleasant feelings. 


In order for the mind to retain insights, change mental patterns, and release emotions, we need to give ourselves time to process, digest and relax after bringing up challenging thoughts and feelings. In such times, you should indulge in activities that bring you peace, joy, and make you less worked up. 

Here are some self-care techniques you can try out: 

  1. Vent out: Crying is a way of venting-out your feelings. It is self-soothing and improves mood by making us feel lighter, and by restoring emotional balance. Crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins. According to a study by Harvard Health, “these feel-good chemicals help ease both physical and emotional pain.” (Leo Newhouse, 2021).
  2. Take a nap: Some therapists recommend taking a short nap post session. For some people, one of the stress responses is feeling physically tired, so taking a nap can be beneficial to re-energize yourself. However, some of us might not get the time to take a nap post session. So what else can be done? 
  3. Positive Affirmations: Try to take out just five minutes for yourself, and indulge into self-compassion where you drench yourself in positive affirmations and pat yourself on the back for having the strength to get through these difficult times. According to research, psychological health is correlated with self-compassion (Neff, 2009). Increased pleasure, optimism, curiosity, and connectivity are associated with higher levels of self-compassion, which are also linked to lower levels of anxiety, sadness, rumination, and fear of failure (Neff, 2009). Using affirmations regularly might cause your brain's reward system to become active, which may change how you perceive pain—both emotional and physical. 
  4. Take a walk: Preferably in nature. Walking helps boost mood as it increases our blood flow and blood circulation into our body and brain. You can also try playing a sport to blow off some steam as it also promotes the release of brain chemicals called endorphins that stimulate relaxation and improve our mood.
  5. Try Pranayama (a yoga exercise) or breathing exercises: It can work wonders too. While you are stressed or exercising, you typically breathe using your upper chest or lungs (chest breathing). This breathing pattern is often quicker and shorter, resulting in tensing up the body. Deep breathing comes from your diaphragm (diaphragmatic breathing), which enables more air flow into your body while releasing a sense of calm throughout your brain and body. While both parts of your nervous system are always active, deep breathing can help quiet your sympathetic nervous system (SNP) and therefore reduce feelings of stress or anxiety (Princing, 2018). It stabilises blood pressure and also improves sleep. Note: Sympathetic Nervous System is responsible for the body’s flight and fight response.        
  6. Practice mindfulness: It is being in the present with an attitude of acceptance, gratitude, while paying attention to your sensations, feelings, thoughts, and environment, in a non-judgemental way. Mindfulness helps you to learn to stay with difficult feelings without analysing, suppressing, or encouraging them, which helps to dissipate stress, anxiety, or depression around it. Mindful individuals respond to difficult situations more reflectively rather than reflexively. It also helps to improve sleep, learning acceptance & patience, lowers anxiety and appreciation of little things. Here is how you can practise: Guided body-scan meditation: The goal is to tune into your body—to re-establish a connection with your physical self—and pay attention to any sensations you experience without passing judgement. Here is how you can practise more grounding techniques. Loving-kindness meditation: Another popular self-care technique wherein you nourish yourself in self-compassion and warmth, and recite positive affirmations to yourself. 
  7. Seek social support: Turn to your friends or family as a support group, as they can provide emotional support and comfort. If you have  positive, supportive friends and/or family, they can  help dissipate feelings of loneliness, boost self-esteem and self-worth, and can provide an outlet for venting out. You feel better when you know you have someone supportive by your side, and you are not  alone.
  8. Journal: Research shows that capturing your thoughts and feelings on paper lets you express with more depth and range (expressive journaling), accepting them rather than avoiding these feelings (Jeremy Sutton, 2023). Gratitude journaling aids in drawing attention to parts of life you are grateful for. It  helps improve mood and track day-to-day symptoms. 
  9. Eating a good meal or any other activity which gives you pleasure may help. There is an intimate connection between your brain and gastrointestinal tract, sometimes referred to as the "second brain”, hence it is said that there is a link between nutrition and emotions. Millions of bacteria reside in your GI tract, which affects the creation of the chemicals that continually send signals like dopamine and serotonin from the stomach to the brain. Consuming foods that are nutrient-dense encourages the development of "good" bacteria, which in turn benefits the synthesis of these compounds. Your brain hears these encouraging messages loud and clear when production is at its peak, and your mood may change as a result. On the other hand, if output is off, your mood might suffer as well (Inception, 2022).
  10. Professional help: Lastly, you can always seek your therapist’s help to manage these post-therapy weariness. Your therapist will be happy to guide you through these feelings. It is always recommended to seek your therapist’s guidance to manage your emotions even before or after your therapy session. Remember, the more you talk to them the better they can help you. 

Always remember that these varied feelings are a perfect example of the mind-body connection. You are now ready to wind up after any therapy session and we wish you all the strength to collect yourself, no matter what situation you are in.

"Therapy always gets worse before it gets better”. -Nina Westbrook


References:  



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