Do Birthdays make you anxious?

Author – Sadhana Singh, Counselling Psychologist  

Editor – EmptyCare Team  

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who adore their birthday and spend the entire month celebrating it, and those who can't stand even one day of celebration.  Why do you think this could be the case? Studies have just found in the past that if you put all that pressure on something, you're bound to be disappointed. Other reasons could be that my friends did not text me or posted an Instagram picture for me. As your birthday approaches, you begin to experience feelings of anxiety, which is commonly referred to as birthday anxiety. 

Birthday anxiety is a feeling of unease or fear associated with one's own birthday. This can manifest in a variety of ways; you can identify this anxiety by the symptoms such as  

• being tired and unenthusiastic in the days approaching their birthday 
• feeling sad and unable to figure out a reason why or shake off the sadness 
• feeling mildly paranoid or anxious beforehand and on the day itself 
• losing their self-confidence or self-esteem 
• difficulty concentrating and inability to stop thinking about the approaching birthday 
• wanting to avoid contact with people, including family and friends 

While birthdays are often thought of as a time for celebration and joy, for some individuals, the thought of their own birthday can cause significant stress and anxiety. 

There are several potential causes of birthday anxiety: 

• For some, past traumatic experiences may be associated with their birthday, such as the loss of a loved one or a difficult childhood memory.  
• For others, the fear of aging and the associated changes that come with it may be a contributing factor. This is especially true for significant birthdays such as 50, 60, and 70, when people begin to consider their mortality. People's ability to function may be impacted by new medical or cognitive changes as they age. Changes in vision or hearing may also be noticed. This can result in anxiety, fear, or sadness. 
• Societal pressure to have the "perfect" birthday celebration can also contribute to feelings of anxiety and stress. 
• Failure to meet culturally imposed milestones. Marriage, having children, and having a "successful" career are examples of these milestones. Failure to meet these milestones can lead to self-criticism. 
• Change irrational fear. Even though we can't stop getting older, we can be afraid of change. We are predisposed to worry about things that are uncertain, take us out of our comfort zone, and/or are beyond our control. 
• The midlife crisis. A mid-life crisis, in addition to potentially causing the birthday blues, can cause you to question your identity and priorities.  
• Isolation. It can be devastating to not have any friends or family to celebrate your birthday with. Sadness and grief are triggered by isolation and loneliness. In these situations, low self-esteem can become an issue. 

If you are struggling with birthday anxiety, there are several strategies that can help you cope:  

• One effective strategy is therapy. A therapist can help you identify the underlying causes of your anxiety and provide you with tools to manage it. Additionally, medication may also be prescribed to help alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression. 
• Another effective strategy for coping with birthday anxiety is self-care. This includes activities such as exercise, healthy eating, and getting enough sleep. Mindfulness and relaxation techniques, such as yoga or meditation, can also be helpful in reducing stress and anxiety. 
• It's also important to remember that it's ok to take a break from the traditional celebrations and do something different with your birthday. You can mark the day in a way that feels meaningful and special to you, rather than feeling pressured to conform to societal expectations. 
• Additionally, it may be helpful to talk to your loved ones about your feelings of anxiety and let them know how they can support you. Surrounding yourself with people who understand and support you can make a big difference in how you feel on your birthday. 

In conclusion, birthday anxiety is a real and valid concern for many people. It can manifest in various ways and can be caused by a number of factors. However, with the help of therapy, medication, self-care, and the support of loved ones, it is possible to manage and overcome birthday anxiety. Remember to be kind and gentle with yourself, and to seek help if you need it.